The Making of a Disability

When you see a 6ft tall, 175 lbs  of solid muscle, long flowing shoulder length hair, if I dare say ruggedly handsome 🙂 stepping out of a rally car, or getting off a mountain bike that just tore through a creek side path I would be willing to bet that your thoughts are not that the person is disabled. Am I not right?

Don’t worry, that is not the first bit of discrimination I have faced.  But first lets get back to how this all began.

I guess I was really in my late 20’s maybe 27 range. I was a sport junky, I played everything, and well.  I by choice worked manual labour jobs to build my strength and that I did.  When this all began, I worked in a tile factory, I hand packed skids, 2500 65 lbs boxes a day worth of floor tiles, that is just over 160 000 lbs a day. In this job, that I was in fact working with a crushed finger at the time that started off a chain reaction that nearly 20 years later has left me in so much pain I sleep only a couple hours a day.  But lets not get too far ahead right now, I have been told I jump around on my stories too much, so back on track.

Anyways, hand packing 160 000 lbs a day of floor tile with a crushed finger led to a shoulder injury.  The end result of that saga is I had surgery on my shoulder, during the surgery I had a nerve nicked, the resulting nerve damage has left me in terrible pain, and my shoulder and dominant arm weak and in constant pain from any sort of use.

Move forward a couple years to me early 30’s I am learning now to live with constant pain in my neck, shoulder and arm to my fingers.  No help, nothing, I am on my own trying to deal with this.  Now the next phase of my injury takes place, a car accident, well, more like my car being crushed between 2 trucks.  I got hit on one side and slammed into the truck next to me, dragging me for hundreds of feet down the main road.  This nasty bit of work caused me all kinds of soft tissue damage.  My back and neck and shoulders now are on fire at all times.  So I now also have several herniated disks in both my neck and back.  Right now I am only talking my major hurts not my sports injuries. I have all soft tissue damage in my back, and surgery caused nerve damage coming from my neck.  A lovely treat for sure I am living.

No so far as the injuries are mounting you may be thinking this is not so bad.  With proper treatments this can’t be life altering can it?  You are likely correct as well.  I did not get the help. I got people ripping me off, and not the proper medical support at all that I so needed.

Now as you can read I am now a bit messed up, at this point married and trying to make things work.  You know how that is right?  So I take this job doing some light shipping work.  Yes back at it, my furniture company gone, and a wife to help support.  So I am doing this work and actually enjoying it…then the company wanted more, you know how that usually turns out eh.  So I am now working full time, managing the the warehouse, running the inventory, managing quality assurance, operation manager, toilette cleaner and chief greeter at the front door…sometimes I wagged my tail and got a cookie.  And the company wanted more…oh yes, by this time I did not even slightly enjoy my work, but hey, life costs money right?  So now I am going out to the companies we dealt with and working on the robotic machines we had in their plants, and doing everything thing else of course.  So one day out in one of these plants I am working on a downed machine, I cant fix it, the plant owner screaming at me to fix the problem.  So I give one more try to separate the driving rod and you know it, I feel a horrific tear in my back.  I can’t do anything but take a deep breath and nearly scream.  I cut off the parts when I can move again and tell the owner to call my head office and I leave.  By the time I get back to the office I am unable to lift my arm to open the door.  To make a long story a little shorter I really messed things up but good in my back.

I will start a new section now, just so a giant wall of text does stop you reading.  So now I am dealing with the same Govt. agency that has treated me so bad in the past.  Low and behold nothing changes again this time.  I cant really say i think too much on this as I am in a lawsuit with them now, but all I can say is this.  The Federal Govt. has granted me full disability pension after 7 years in legal argument.  I now survive on a tiny pension that just covers my rent, nothing more.  But back to the treating Govt. agency, they refused to treat what I had listed with the attending Doctor as my pain problem.  They treated only what they treated in the past.  Pain specialists I have seen after this have said openly if I had only been treated according to the injuries I stated I would never be in the position I am in now.

Now I guess in 2013 I am now in the care of Pain Specialists and at this point, for the rest of my life.  I hate needles so I refuse nerve blockers, I took the pain killer route.  Well within a year of this I am on some of the nastiest pain killers on the market and still in pain.  April of 2014.  My 45 birthday I am now in intensive care near death from what turned out to be a horrific reaction to the pain killer itself.  While there my wife leaves me with my friend of 27 years, the guy that ripped me off of my company, and future.  OUCH!!

I lived people and I recovered!!

Now this is really bad right?  I live in screaming pain, no rest from it ever.  Ringing in my ears that also never stops, and getting my life back together with my son after everything I told you and more I haven’t.  Oh, this gets better people, it does really, sarcasm alert.  I get into a car accident, t-boned on our war to a camping trip.  Maybe one day I will post pictures of this, but not now.  So, I am injured again.  Everything you have read above, plus all new pain problems that are so bad I have nothing left to give anybody.  Oh yes, after 2 months of not knowing why everything was so foggy, why I was throwing up all the time.  Why I could not remember anything at all, why even the most simple task seemed so difficult I would end up crying in confusion, I find out I have had yet another concussion.  This on I think makes 5-6 but too many.

Now in many ways this blog is about my recovery, and how I enjoy life on MY terms.  How I raise my son.  How I deal with so much discrimination.  So much more as I get into doing a blog.  If in time this takes off, I will ask you to write in and ask me things to write about even.  I have only given the most basic outline of my life, it in fact is messed up so much more, but hey, a blog has to start somewhere, and I heard that you always leave people wanting more.


Thanks, read again.


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