The Human Cockroach

I should have died way back in April of 1969.  Unable to keep any food down, able to throw up anything inside me to over 10ft away.  Kind of cool for a baby, maybe I was the model for the Exorcist. Poor Regan had nothing on me that way,  I just had no ability to turn my head around.

Cutting edge surgery saved my life that year.  But not a life that most would enjoy, or even be thrilled to have.  I have suffered greatly in many ways.

I had a brother, a nasty piece of work he is/was. To this day I can’t stand the guy.  While a child he and a friend held me down on a red ant hill.  The Doctors at the hospital said the only reason I lived through that ordeal was because once I was allowed to get up, I ran straight home into the shower.  It seems that washed off much of the poisons, not all, and wow did I suffer from that.

I almost died when I was cutting the lawn with our electric lawnmower.  Talking to my best friend instead of paying attention to what I should have been doing.  I cut all the wires but the safety wire.  My finger was actually melting.  My best friend saved my life that day when he yanked the power cord from the wall.  I was maybe 10.  By 10 I had almost died 3 times.

Life didn’t get any easier, in fact as my son now and I love to say, it got HARDER. At 18 I almost died in a horrific car accident, and that was one of my first known about concussion.  To be honest, I had several before that mainly due to that wonderful brother of mine.  Smashing his knuckles off my skull, we called them nuggies.  My parents liked them so much, they also smashed their knuckles off my skull.

I had a couple really scary moments when I was backpacking in Australia when I was 20-21.  I was chased in the outback by a drunk Irishman with an axe.  I  ran fast and had some very good conditioning back then I guess because of my hockey playing and running away from my brutal brother. On the same trip I came foot to face with a Death Adder on a hike, stuck on a narrow ledge.  I had a few people behind me that just did not understand my desire to go backwards at a breakneck speed.  They moved fast enough as I was going through them whether they liked it or not.

While grape picking in Mildura one of my mates cut into a RedBack spider nest.  Jesus did we all run when tens of thousands of spiders came out. Good times.  Same time frame, I had a brutal infection when some stitches burst while swimming in the Murray River.  The only reason I lived was because I was with 7 travelling nurses.  They cared for me for a couple weeks around the clock.

Same trip, while Scuba diving on the Yongala, a deep water shipwreck out of Townsville I got nitrogen narcosis.  Basically being drunk underwater.  Not a death sentence unto itself, but when you are in the water with two types of deadly sea snakes one the coral banded and the other the olive sea snake, you tend to take care….Drunk people don’t.  Thank goodness I grabbed the Olive sea snake to look at.  Their fangs?  Are at the backs of their mouths, so you basically have to put a finger into its mouth to get bit.  It was not the stupid.  All I did was grab it by the head, put it up to my face and blow bubbles at it.  ROFL, I thought it funny at the time, the snake then wrapped itself around me and got right up into my face for a good look at me.  We were at a depth of about 130 feet, I went through the total dive air amount in about 30 seconds.  Thank goodness I was not known for panic attacks back then.  The divemaster got me to the surface doing buddy breathing.

I think I did ok for a few years, nothing too stupid, no major injuries or problems until Central America.  There we had deadly snakes all over, spiders, scorpions, and other creatures that wanted to take your life.  I had run ins with many of them.  In another post I talked about getting stung in the testicles by the scorpion then bitten on the leg the same night by a poisonous spider.  Happy New Year all.  I Rock climbed  alone with no ropes or tethers on a shale cliff.  Hiked alone through the jungle without anybody even knowing what I was doing.  Did I mention the snakes everywhere?  Our dogs all died from snakes. RIP Champ , Tyson, and the puppies.

Wow people, I am NOT giving myself the name the human cockroach with only a few times like this nearly dying.  There is more of course.

Lets see, Central America was when I was 24-25 range. But now I know my memories are starting to fade a bit. I know I got crushed between two giant trucks, a miracle I got out of that alive for sure.  Body destroyed yes, but alive.  Sounds like a cockroach I think.

I then had the incident with the Opioids my mind totally rejected, that cost me two weeks in intensive care.  Nobody thought I was going to make it out from that one.  Nobody, and some really wished I didn’t.

Wow, at 900+ words already, so will keep this short now.  as you know, or may not know depending on how many posts you have read my last car accident has claimed my mind and most of my body.  I skipped several years as I have little memory of them now.  But My injuries have mounted, the pain excruciating and there is nothing the Doctors can do to help with that now.  I am expected to die one day from this now.  Slowly and painfully.  Day by day my mind drifting away to forget everything I knew and loved, its power used to fight the pain and suffering I will live with until the day I die finally.

Well people, do I name myself properly?  Am I not the Human Cockroach?  I am sure I have more examples of near death for me, but as I am writing this without the help of anybody, as most have no idea I am doing this, I will rest with what I have now.

People say the good Lord protects drunks and fools, I have been accused of being both.  As I don’t drink , I guess that makes me the fool in the story.



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