Being a single parent is not an easy life. Male or Female. Being a single disabled male parent I think personally is much harder. Not one parent at school gives a hoot. A mom gets sick the others take care of her and their child….my son and I get well, nothing. Not even a hello how are you two doing. Nothing.
I find that I am an excellent father, nobody but other parents say anything different. Child care professionals feel how I am raising my son is fantastic, they expect Aidan to be head and shoulders above all children his age and above most well above his age range. This in fact is where I run and my son runs into trouble. Everybody that knows my son knows he is head and shoulders above their child. Jealousy is rampant..
But I have firmly decided now that I am not able to find a partner worthy of me. I AM ill, and I will never be better. So if anybody wants to be apart of my sons life and mine they better respect this, and so far not one has the respect I demand. Not even close in fact. I try, I try and explain what I need, not want, need. There is a huge difference here.
I am tired of repeating myself over and over again, it just hurts my head. So why do it. I think that if your tell a person numerous times to not do things that drive you nuts, and they continue to do these things, they do not care about you. So what do you do when you realize this fact? You cut them out like a cancer.
Let them go figure out life on their own. Nothing more for me to do there. I have a child already, I do not want 2 more, especially when one of them is in their 40’s.
So now I am going forward alone.
Today is February 1 2017. I am alone now with my son and not a care in the world for another person. Nobody else deserves my time anymore. I am through trying to explain how my health needs can’t deal with a woman’s silliness. I do not care how you think my son should be raised. That is not your concern, I did not ask your advice. I expect to be dead around the time my son becomes a man. I need him to be able to stand on his own two feet. I will not allow my child to live in my home past manhood. That is my time. I will go away to die in a foreign country far away from everybody I know. Die in peace.
I want to die enjoying the last few things I can, I love to travel and will do so, hopefully dying on some mountain somewhere. Nice selfie Ian….But that is my plan. I have travelled alone all my life, all over the world in fact. I had hoped to do my last trips with a person I loved, but I won’t if I have to put up with BS. I rather die alone and happy, than with a person that drives me nuts and death would be a blessing instead.
The only thing that scares me about my plan is missing my son. Anybody else I could easily turn my back on, nobody is worth my efforts anymore, just my son, and he will always have it. Maybe I can convince him in due time to go on a backpacking trip with the old man when he is 18. Now that would be a trip I would love to do, take him to places I have seen, show him how to live in the desert, how to survive. I did this for several years, outback in Australia, I stayed in a ravine, the only water anywhere around, you had to make sure you left the water once you took your water, every animal in the area came along for water, lots of snakes.
I have lived in the jungles of Central America, great life there, but man did I discover how bad you hurt when stung by scorpions and bitten by poisonous spiders. My poor testicles still cringe when I think of that horror show sting. Yes guys, it hurts far far worse than you could ever imagine.
But that is years away, today I get my son. In fact I leave in about 30 minutes to go get him. Today is Whopper Wednesday at Burger King. We have done this as our thing for over 2 years now, we may not love the food anymore, but we both love going there together, as we are always happy together. I think if he is not too tired I will take him to play in the park after, it is cold and snowy. Perfect park weather in my eyes. Not a soul will be there but us. So we can do as we wish with the equipment without worry another child may try to copy Aidan and hurt themselves. Aidan got his whole Kindergarten banned from the monkey bars a couple years ago, the other children would get badly hurt trying to do the things my son does with ease.
His mother and I have now decided to get him into team sports, we hope in this way Aidan can finally find somebody better than him at something. Right now it is children twice his age that just beat him now. It used to be that would knock him off his high horse, but now he is actually better than I am at almost everything we do together. So I need another child to knock him down a bit. Hopefully once his Karate starts this may put him in a better place as he may not be the best….sadly knowing Aidan he soon will be though.
All I know is this. I am ok without a life partner, I am ok with only my son. I rather be happy with only him than be miserable trying to deal with people that have zero respect for me and my needs. It has taken a long time and much help from professionals to come to this conclusion. But I have, and I will no longer spend a minute repeating myself to an adult that should know better. If you need to treat me poorly to make yourself feel better, move along please. I don’t want you anymore.
Anyway, today is the first day of my new life as a totally single parent. I am done trying to teach adults how to act, tired of their abuses. You want in my life? Go get the help you need. It will no longer come from me, my head hurts and you should know better than to hurt me further. I have done enough teaching for people not my son. Grow up and get your life in order without my help now. I can no longer plead and beg I am filled with too much pride to do this further.
Thanks for reading, I hope others can see the abuses they face and deal with it in the same manner I have chosen.