One Step Forward, Two Back

When is enough, enough?  I sit here in tears right now, just stunned by what has just gone on in the last 24 hours.  With everything else I am dealing with I had a seizure yesterday.

What is amazing is my “head therapist” and I have so many I actually mean my therapist that deals with my mind , are working on certain things that will help us discover what is causing such rapid mood swings.  Well anyways I was talking about a highly emotional issue while lying in bed with my complicated and woke up to find her holding my head.

What happened just before that are extremely different versions of the same time frame.  From my point of view I was on one of my diatribes and my head turned and my eyes closed while I was talking away.  I made perfect sense, I am extremely intelligent after all.  What really happened is this.  My eyes did close, my head did turn, my mouth opened and closed though like a fish, not a word came out of my mouth and I was panting.  My body shut down, I could not move, if I had been standing I would have collapsed to the ground.

So being the man I am I called my physiotherapy clinic that is in charge of my recovery.  They do everything for me there.  My brain therapy, my physiotherapy, my massage therapy, my Occupational therapist, my pyscotherapist is there, my whole life these days.  All in one clinic designed for me to go to for all my very specific medical needs, set up by the insurance company.  Well I call them and let them know what happened to me, and I needed to change my appointments around so I can see my Doctor.

Well, they take my information, make the changes in the system and I am set as I am taking my son and my girlfriend and her son to a waterpark on Thursday that has been planned for months and the clinic is perfectly aware of.  The whole basis of the past 4 months or so has been for this trip.  A thank you to my son for all his efforts in putting up with dad being so ill.  Well they call me back and not only cancel my visits this week, but ban me from the clinic for any therapy period.  “It may not look good Ian if you had a seizure here”

So I am now alone again, 10% memory capacity, ruined body, a deep fear of leaving my home anymore and no therapist anymore to talk with.

The great news is, I was accepted into a Govt program to get my a scooter to get around on, further showing how badly damaged my body is.  The bad news is it will take at least 10 weeks to get the unit, so summer is over already for Aidan and myself.

I hired a fantastic person this past week to take care of all this stuff for me.  This is the same person that I used to draft up the parenting agreement.  I finally feel once she takes over I may have a fighting chance to get anything to help me.  The load off my mind has been great, as with now such limited cognitive ability  I can use any help I can get.

Now Imagine having little mind, no friends, no family, nobody to check on you but for once a week, trying to raise a 7 year old now, and have all your support cut out from your feet in a single phone call?  I am frantic right now with no clue on what to do.

This seems on the verge of criminal to me.  Everybody at that clinic is aware of how bad my health is and how badly I need the physiotherapy.  BUt I make waves, and I think this is done to get me out of the clinic now.  They have said I cant come into the clinic until I have medical clearance from my Doctor.  Well, as this is my brain we are talking about, that Doctor wont even be seen until August and that is due to the clinic not doing there job and getting me into one months ago.  I had to take care of my own medical needs as the patient, and that is something the insurance company said no way that should ever happen.

So I make waves about my money being spent improperly, staff not even with proper certification to treat me, and I get cut off from treatment that was working and very needed.  3 days before a long planned with the clinics aid  vacation.  This is unreal I am now forced to go away without any form of treatments for over a week.  I refuse to allow this to ruin my sons trip, but I already has mine as I know I cant slide at all.  The physio was counted on to make all this work.  Thank god I have my Scottish forsite and saw this happening and made sure I have somebody to help me and her son to play with Aidan.  I seem to always know when to plan for the worst, thank god I listen.

Now I wait, the guy with the severe brain injury and no patience.  This should be interesting, I wonder what will happen this time, another arrest?  Who knows.  I know this though, I wont be leaving my home at all anymore unless I must or I have somebody with me to deal with a world that had gone totally lunatic.

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