Here I am all of a sudden a huge winner, I have won the total jackpot and will be set for life. Keep on reading so you can feel all happy and warm at night knowing you won’t have to worry about things as I will. Be happy you are not a huge lotto winner as I am because it can change your life in ways you can’t imagine.
As some of you know I have been disabled since 2009, and last year in the summer I got into a car wreck with my son Aidan, and then in December an elevator accident. Now I am sure I have told you that I have had fantastic luck with the medical team that was supposed to care for me. That is part of my jackpot winnings.
As you know my Neurologist last year picked up my legs and let them drop onto the table in the exam room and said I was fine. Now thank God my complicated was there, she heard much and was certainly there when we returned begging for help to be turned away. 6 or so months later I can no longer walk any distance and even the short amount I can do is scary as hell as I am off balance.
Now here is how things make me such a lucky guy. Now if I had been diagnosed with a Traumatic Brain Injury at the start I may have had a chance. I am talking right now with a Doctor in Another part of the world who is in shock at how everything got missed with me. And in fact telling me outright to sue heavily as if this had been found out I may have had a chance to deal with my bleak future.
I am reading heavily now, something I am not supposed to do but nobody seems to be doing anything about my situation so I am forced to do my own health care. What I have found out is this, I am now 90% more likely to face non alzheimer’s dementia as my Traumatic Brain Injury occurred at the very very worst possible time, between the ages of 40-50 , the studies are showing a whopping 90% increase in Dementia in this age range especially.
Now at least I have an angel helping me, and she is taking over much in my life, making my living will as we both know my end is coming. I will go forward and sue everybody involved in this, no matter who or what agency and place all monies into a trust for my care until I die and my sons future. As the lady taking care of me and I fully agree I will be in an institution for care and likely on an powerful opiate and out of my mind not knowing who anybody is, and strong, I am a very powerful guy. I have come to the conclusion being put down like an injured animal is best once certain criteria is met.
I am forced to do this now as nobody knows when my mind will go, a single blow to my head could cause me to lose everything. I need the machine in place in case all this happens. It is in the works now. Also we plan on taking a lot of agencies to Human Rights, maybe not the way to make huge money, but to embarrass the agencies that have made my life hell, more fun.
Aidan my darling son, when you finally read all this, I hope after my death you will understand better why dad did what I did. I could not handle the thought of you coming to hate me. I am crying like a baby trying to write these words now my son, and having a terrible time of it. I want you to know you are my life, and worth everything I have ever done, everything. For you I have no regrets for how I have raised you and i know it has both been great fun and a lot of trouble.
My son, know in your future you have both Sunshine and Dawn covered for all the needs you may have. I may no longer be there for you, but I hope everything I put in place is going smoothly for you. I know you miss me terrible, but know I made as many plans as I could to protect you. I have all the videos and pictures of us, and I hope you can find some peace with them. I hope our Youtube show got started and we did well with all that. I may not have been able to bring you everything I wanted Aidan, I tired, that is for sure, but the rest is up to you now. I hope you learned from me.
I will continue to write until I cant, maybe not as much as I used to, my mind is not as cluttered as it once was. I am very scared Aidan, knowing I will lose my mind and not know who you are is near killing me today. I get you in a few hours from now and count the minutes until we can enjoy ourselves.
Remember Aidan, Dawn and Sunshine will help you with everything you need help with, and of course you have your mother. Talking to you this way about my coming death is about the same emotions I felt when I was talking about your coming birth. Just different emotions, crying today is the pain of loss, then the joy of you coming.
I wish I had somebody to talk with about all this, but my friends are no longer there for me, turned their backs. Not understanding the gravity of the situation. So I am alone like the Rock of Gibraltar alone and trying so hard to stay solid for you, and it is not always easy my Aidan.
I need to stop writing now as I am spending too much time wiping snot from my face and chest. If i had 100 years with you my lad, it still would never be enough time and i would howl as i am now saying goodbye.
I do love you so much.